Ben Brown, Internet Rockstar Feverish Velocity

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My dad is so proud right now. He hasn’t said anything like that, but I know he is. My dad, oh loyal benbrown.com reader, you know, he is a character. He only just recently stopped telling me to quit this whole internet thing and go to art school so I could finally attain my real potential as someone who doodled comic books during his teens.

And I mean, I have always considered what I do on here, on the tubes, to be more art than technology, more play than business. Bad art with ugly colors and lots of cuss words, but still. So, it pleases me greatly to post this news.

My friend Ari Y Kelman (the Y is important for purposes of disambiguation between faculty at the same university) and I are working on an art project for the grand opening of the new Contemporary Jewish Museum, because we are contemporary Jews, and because an organization we are part of is sponsoring the party. Booya! The project is called (Re)velation, and it will be at the museum during the DAWN 2008 ALL NIGHT OPENING PARTY / CELEBRATION OF SHAVUOT / DENGUE FEVER CONCERT on JUNE 7 BUY TICKETS NOW. Contemporary! Jewish!

I always thought there were only 10 commandments, the ones carried by Moses down from his conversation with THE BURNING BUSH. OMG!

I don’t strictly believe any of this, but it is a pretty awesome story, you have to admit. I mean, I have totally talked to burning bushes before.

But there are way more than 10 commandments. There are 613 commandments, or “mitzvah,” and they cover everything from how to salt your sacrificial offerings to rules for tribal warfare. It totally freaks me out, because you get a pretty clear view of how different times were when these laws were first thought up and put down on the books. And it freaks me out more when I think about how all of our laws and rules and society basically grew out of this stuff, like it or not.

My theory is, each one of these rules has a more modern interpretation, something that digs out the core nugget of wisdom from the “original” version and turns it on its head, makes it relevant today, for me, right now. A new translation, one that doesn’t involve blood sacrifices and slave trading.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there is a long, long, long tradition of interpreting and reinterpreting these things, and what we have now, these 613 rules, are the result of that tradition. I humbly submit that (Re)velation attempts to be a continuation of that tradition. Different! Possibly much more stupid! But definitely funnier.

You can visit (Re)velation right now, and browse through the 613 mitzvah. And if you see some nugget of wisdom in there that would make more sense if it referenced Super Mario Brothers or Seinfeld, you can submit your own version right there. That’s the magic Ben Brown sauce. It’s a web 2.0 style remix of ancient religious tradition! Tada! We’re also collecting audio submissions of people delivering their own versions of the mitzvah - eventually they’ll be mixed together to become THE VOICE OF GOD at the Dawn party.

Our friends at Jewcy have kindly rehosted the project. See, I am totally a legitimate artist! We really need your help, your creativity, and your insight to mix these laws up so we don’t look like boobs at the opening! Click one of those links and put on your virtual yarmulke!

If I can actually pull this off, I will be amazed.

(Here are the iPhone versions of the pixel Moses and Burning Bush that I posted a few days ago.)

Like my Facebook post, but funnier.

Saw it here first.

For some reason, Katie says “Iron” in a funny way.

Our podcast turned 21! Everyone has to chug a beer in its honor. I think we are getting pretty good at this whole thing. Once we move back to Austin, oh yes, did I mention we’re moving back to Austin in June? We are. FU, SF! Once we move back to Austin, Katie is going to be putting a lot more time into I want to see that!, and we’ve got some cool new features coming out that I think will make the site more useful and more fun to use. (Right now, its kind of boring, especially when there are no good movies coming out.)

But I think that you must admit, right now this very second, that our podcast is GREAT and that we are the cutest podcast couple in the history of podcasts, especially Katie.

Thou Shalt Have No Bit Higher Than 8!

I am working on an interactive art thing for a big event being thrown by the Jewish Media Conspiracy of which I am a member. Part of this involves creating a web site that will be “launching” later this week to collect submissions for the final art performance. It is neat!

As part of building the web site, I recreated a few scenes from the ol’ Torah in oldskool 8-bit pixel-styles. Because I am not satisfied with only having my iconic icons of religious history be seen on a web site by nerdy media Jews, I have created iPhone wallpaper versions of Sweet Fancy Moses and God popping out of a burning bush. Enjoy!

On Tour with Ghostland

My brother Alex is the coolest cat on planet. He works at home and on the road with Ghostland Observatory who have just self-produced their third kick ass record, and who are virtually constantly on the road putting on crazy laser-powered shows.

When the band was here in San Francisco a few weeks ago, I set Alex’s iPhone up to post his photos to Flickr. He’ll be posting behind-the-scenes photos as he travels with the band to concerts, festivals, and SECRET INTERNATIONAL GIGS.

I am super excited, not only because Alex always takes cool shots of the giant crowds getting crazy underneath insane laser shows, but because he also gets to see the band off hours, when they’re just hanging out with each other, having fun on the road, or waiting around for hours and hours and hours in the back of a dusty club, waiting to go on.

I miss the road! (I traveled with Ghostland on their first tour out of Texas.)

Alex isn’t “documenting” the band. He’s just shooting pictures of his life and his friends and his job. I think its better this way - an unbiased look at the experience of touring with a band, something that’s probably a lot different than people imagine. Also, lasers.

Sushi FTW

I covered a competitive eating contest for my friends at SeriousEats. Except that it wasn’t much of a competition - there was only one guy eating, and the record had never been set before, so it was pretty much a pointless show of extreme gluttony. But they had free beer, and Schlomo came with me, so it was fun. Below, I’ve included the video I made of my experience and my not-at-all-exclusive interview with TIM JANUS, EATER X, holder of the WORLD RECORD FOR SPEED SUSHI EATING.

Grain, Grain, Go Away

I wrote a quick post for Apocalypsia, Offsprung’s DOOM column about the Iranian wheat fungus and the impending demise of the cavendish banana. Woo, famine! Woo, plague!

1000 True Fans

This is the business model of the future.

Adam Mathes, Artist.

Dubbed Comics Double as Surrealist Meditations on Life | The Underwire from Wired.com

Ben Brown is telling you to do something.

Dear Internet,

I believe very strongly that Barack Obama should be the next president of this country. He is very good looking, has a smoove voice, and has made a real promise to America to leave literally nothing untouched by his masterful hand. Finally, the blood-powered flesh-eating demon winds of transformation will sweep across our fertile land, first reaping, and then sowing. It will be a glorious future with Emperor Obama in charge, one that I have signed on for wholeheartedly.

AND SO SHOULD YOU.

I just gave $250 to the Obama campaign. This is in addition to the $250 I gave him a few months ago, and the $100 I gave before that. I wish this money wasn’t going to end up in the pockets of FOX affiliates in Texas or whatever, but I think whatever has to be done to get the message out must be done. I am proud and excited to be in bed with a man like Obama. Especially when we spoon.

I am asking you, my educated and affluent blog audience, to put your money where my mouth is and donate some cash to Baracktimus Prime. I have set myself a personal fund raising goal of $10,000. I would need both my hands, both my feet and my penis to count the number of friends I have who have made $10,000 in an 8-hour period, crapping out HTML.

I AM POINTING AT YOU.

Don’t think. Don’t whinge. Don’t tell me you just did it and to stop yelling at you. Donate right now to Barack Obama.

Don’t worry, they take AMEX!